1. |
269 Soulmates
03:50
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sky runs out
innocence runs out
Beggar, the city rejects you
Its half a matter of income, and half a matter of not fitting in
Always the one who gets shot down
Tapping out in the second round when you could have made it by now
But you're always out there fucking around
All in the game
Five hundred to play
Push it from your brain and don’t feel bad about it
Caught in the fade
Slide under the weight, the depth, the overwhelming hold
You’re barely there
Fog on the mirror
you’re barely there
thumb back the hammer
defined by your lies, remain still
stuck between giving up and committing one final crime
your mother must be proud
paradise, one way street
if only you were the fool you pretend to be
all in the game, five hundred to play
stick it in your vein and don’t think twice about it
caught in the fade
hand over the claim, the debt
the door has closed
you are alone
all in the game, climb under and stay
the only way you leave is if you turn out the light
no one to blame
there’s no need to make amends
there’s no one left
it’s over
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2. |
Birch Meadows, 1991
01:52
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In my haste I squandered a century
a childhood gone
In my failures I make up for it
I found a god in your drawer
the pages just like new
the pages almost just like skin
break another window
make a fist and then
relax
she was gone a little longer than you cared for
and you just had to set her straight
didn’t you?
you make me sick
there’s nothing you could say to put it back in place
the trailer isn’t there
“The Dance” isn’t playing
In our haste we murdered a family
it all went wrong
But in our failures we make up for it
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3. |
Chasing the Vig
02:13
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3 am and they’re at your door
your chest feels like it’s collapsing
coked out in your uniform
one hand on your service weapon
they will kill you for what you owe
so show them what you’re made of
you taste death,
love and rejection
take a breath
high off the action
everyone fucks it up
it’s all distraction
someone else cleans it up
it’s all redacted now
back on the job there’s something not quite intact
your sources aren’t even flexing
the dope is all second hand
you wonder who they’re protecting
there’s a file with your name attached
is that what you’re afraid of?
you taste death
lies and corruption
take what’s left
it’s better than nothing
everyone gets a cut
it’s off the record
maybe you’ve had enough
collect your pension
twenty four hundred miles
no extradition
liquid and versatile
beyond conviction now
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4. |
Suicide by Cop
03:02
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This cage was meant to be torn apart
so why maintain it
This life means nothing to me at all
so why take the risk
why force my hand
your place is there
with your own kind
there’s more to lust
than a finite desire
my plans will fall apart on their own
I don’t need you for that
I promise, I can fuck this up just fine
I used to think
I’d change your mind
I used to think
You’d save my life
I won’t be missed
I won’t be mourned
No one’s looking at you now
You are on your own
In fact I’m already dead
but lights still flicker overhead
a few less cops in this town
but in the end it just took one to put me down
so what do you think it’s worth
the gift of life, the joy of birth
well, it’s a little less than I’d hoped
disappointed to find
no deeper meaning to the joke
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5. |
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When I was young, I had no ambition
No lust, no drive. I was living fiction
Fifteen and fucked, I was so ungrateful
Sixteen and sunk, I was ready to give up
But instead I just drank up
I felt good when I drank
I felt like I was alive
I felt strong for the first time
I felt at home in my own skin
Up until I fell down on my fears
Fell down, for fifteen years
I know I wasted half my life
drunk on doubt
and now I’ll do without
woke up in cuffs, no idea what happened
head torn to shreds, lips completely blackened
No bail required, I was barely processed
As I walked home, the sun hung above my head
and I felt scared
tired and ashamed
I knew I couldn’t outrun it anymore
And yet I kept on
Up until I fell down on my fears
Fell down, for fifteen years
I know I wasted half my life
drunk on doubt
and now I’ll do without
now that I have some distance
now that I’m clean, I feel like I can have friends
but then again
I think I’ll do without
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6. |
Dial Down the Neon
02:57
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picture the contents of your swollen skull
splattered across your front door, I know life
only demeans, only degrades you
falling asleep only delays it for so long
then, there you are
back on shit street
with a bag on your head
and a gun in your hand
suffering in silence
my burden
is I have failed to keep you down
look at you trying so hard to feel alive
one door closes
given the fact you’re still here drawing breath
given the fact that each year gets harder you’re
hoping for truth, hoping for relevance
yellow and blue, the last time you fell you realized you’re home
bathed in neon
behind the eight ball again
no one cares now
I have failed to keep you down
look at you trying so hard to feel alive
one more rejection
and one by one your virtues slip away
you feel cold and dejected but
nothing hurts you now
nothing makes you ashamed now
one door opens
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7. |
In for a World of Hurt
04:29
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Yesterday
Yesterday I looked around
I found out
My mistakes
Cost me everything I had
Now I know
Don't ever get comfortable
Never get too attached
Never get close
Don't hold on
Don't ever let anyone
Let you believe that you're
Anything more
Than a failure
In between defeats
I was on my way
To somewhere I called home
Then i realized there's no such place
Stop reaching out
Stop here and lay back down
Dont get up
Stop letting yourself believe
You deserve anything
Other than what
You have earned
Stop-
I thought I could keep everything
I could be anyone
Look at me now
I’m a failure
Still between defeats
I was on my way
Walking down the street
I have paid for all of my crimes but I haven't paid for her
I will pay for it now
But let me tell you first
You're in for a world of hurt
Stop reaching out
Everyone
Lets you down
Stop reaching out
Everyone you love
Lets you down
Stop reaching out
Lie back down
Don’t get up
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8. |
Before it Was Worn
02:57
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Cracked in half under the overpass
caught my breath
blankets strewn behind a shopping cart
saw my bed
my pleasure comes first, it’s always been that way
but first thing tomorrow I plan to change
Tried to flush my sense of self away
but here I am
I would kill just to be like you
nobody touches you, nothing gets through
conscience never seems to bother you
life goes on
well if you want your money’s worth then open up your mouth
but if you want to keep that face then don’t come back
There’s not enough glue to keep the pins in place
There isn’t any point in suffering for something you hate
I got a dose of the bottom and looked away
I got a taste of the real thing and grabbed it with both hands
But I’d kill just to be like you
nobody touches you, nothing gets through
Living never seems to bother you
You’re not like us
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9. |
Still Between Lovers
03:18
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most of us waste it
burn through it early
no concept of pacing
pulp on the rim of the glass
blood on the back of her skirt
Gave my statement, said “I don’t recall”
washed my hands then followed her home
At my best I’m barely hanging on
At my best I’m barely holding up the wall
I belong on the run
but I don’t think I should go anywhere
I don’t think I should play that card
after all it’s her fault
we almost got caught
A bar up in Irving where fourteen people were shot
A dragon on the wall
At my worst I’m full of sentiment
At my worst I carry most of it around
in my head and my heart
So I focus on my work, not my loss
I concentrate on moving on
and I know you’ll appear
and when you appear
I’ll be gone and she’ll be in the clear
the work will all be done
glass in the tread of a tire
bone peeking out through the skin
swift transition, it’s nothing at all
follow the money next time
most of us fake it
work through it later
no concept of struggle
no concept of value
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10. |
The Drifter
04:20
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these are the best years of my life
drifting away from anger
passive and eager to submit
I will do anything you want
You can bury me alive
I’ll bring the shovel
You can bury me alive
once I was violent and possessed
I was a ticking time bomb
took me a long time to admit
I was a worthless piece of shit
You can bury me alive
I’ll do the digging
You can bury me alive
You can cover me with soil
You can bury me alive
looking back on all I’ve done
I enjoyed those final moments
when the light would leave their eyes
I would do it all over again
you can bury me alive
you can cover me with soil
you can bury me alive
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